Just a few days left of 2016, and I have to be honest I don't believe in the "new year, new me" rhetoric; that you can shift your whole life and perspective from 11:59pm in 2016 to 12:05am in 2017. What I do believe is that a new year, like a birthday, can be a marker for growth (or staying stagnant). It's such an opportune time to look back and take stock of what has shifted in your life, what has been working, and maybe a lack of movement in your life or what hasn't been serving you.
For me, looking back at 2016, I have had SO MANY CHANGES. Some were heart wrenching, gut punching, and scary as shit. I left my first career level job that I had been with for 4 years; the benefits were dope, financial stability was there (as much as it can be in NYC as a social worker), but I was crazy stressed and unhappy. I moved out of my first ever itty bitty solo apartment in the Bronx where my neighbors had a Dominican BBQ every sunday night at like 12am to a Troy apartment with SPACE where my neighbors tell me to turn the music down after 11pm. I ended a really serious and meaningful romantic relationship and am JUST NOW after years of being attached romantically figuring out what it means to really focus on me. I shed all these layers that had defined who I was for the early part of my 20's, and I got to see what was left when it was all stripped away and I had to start new.
What inspired me to make all these changes is the work I've done on myself. I've worked so hard to clear out the noise and to build up my intuition's voice so I can hear it clearly. I feel like I've strengthened a magnet; so that if something isn't right and isn't matching my frequency or goals in life I can feel an urge to repel it, and if something matches my frequency and matches where I want to be in life I am attracted to it. Although I've been listening to this voice, I've definitely doubted myself along the way and have been super scared to make these changes; I've been figuring out that fear is a natural part of the process but I should do it anyway; if I avoid change I avoid growth.
Change has been something that shows me my core; the essence of who I am. And I'm really starting to love that part of me; the part that's not attached to circumstance and is always just there. I don't look at these changes as losses; I've gained so much from my previous job, my previous relationship, and learning to survive in NYC. This past year and all these transitions have taught me that I can trust myself; I don't have to be afraid that I'm going to fuck "it" up. No job, partner, friend, or anyone else holds the key to my happiness and what's best for me; I don't need to look outside to validate what my journey should look like. So 2016 was definitely tough. There were moments of feeling sorry for myself, of freaking out, not knowing if I've made the right decisions, but I am learning that as long as I listen to what is right for me I can trust that the rest will work itself out.
This was the theme of my year and what I've taken away from it, but everyone is different! What have you learned about yourself within this past year? And what lessons are you taking with you in the new year to build on and improve yourself?
***SHAMELESS PLUG***
If you like this topic and is something you want to dive in further, I juuuust so happen to be having a workshop on releasing barriers and manifesting intentions for the new year and new moon cycle, TOMORROW, Friday 12/30 from 7-9 at Yoga Bliss on the Blvd. in Schenectady. 20$ for 2 hours of yoga, meditation, discussion, and journaling around making ourselves better in a purposeful way. Hope to see your lovely selves there :)
Love and Light,
Chelle