Photo by Jamel Mosely
What??! 2017 is almost over??? Is it me, or did time go into hyperwarp speed? Time moves so fast sometimes. I feel like that's why it's so important to take stock of what has actually happened in the past year, to reflect, to extract lessons, to give ourselves credit for the things we've done and what we've been able to move through.
If 2016 was the year of learning to trust myself, 2017 was the year of actually accepting good things into my life. In 2016 I made so many changes to get where I am now: abrupt, big changes. With those changes came the belief that if I had a new job, a new location, a new relationship, a new apartment, I'd have this new sparkly happiness, right?
WRONG. 2017 was the year I came face to face with my constant self doubt and inner self critic. I got my LCSW, was able to receive amazing private clients for yoga and therapy, met supportive new friends and an amazing guy, but still realized that nothing external could fulfill the void that was still there. I realized I could have an endless amount of accomplishments and new connections, but if I didn't truly believe in myself I wouldn't be able to fully experience it, accept it, and enjoy it.
This past year I got real about this inner work. I identified where these limited beliefs about myself came from by going to therapy often (oh, hi, childhood shit there you are again). I faced old pain by acknowledging experiences I hadn't fully acknowledged in the past. (P.S.: this will always be an ongoing process, with new depths to explore. Healing work is ongoing and never straight forward!).
I learned what it is to really be kind and gentle with myself.
I took a good look at the limiting beliefs I had about love ("nothing ever lasts, people always leave/hurt you/they ain't shit"), and I got real about thinking in alignment with the life that I want and the reality that we attract what we believe in ("I can trust others, I can let someone in. I am deserving of a healthy loving relationship"). I took a good look at the beliefs I have about money ("there's not enough, social workers are always broke") and am rewriting that narrative for myself ("I am living a financially abundant life while helping others"). I worked on aligning my thoughts, time, and energy with the basic and true concept that I am worthy.
2017 was a year of looking that negative self talk directly in it's face and saying "look, I get it. I get where you came from, I understand you're trying to protect me, but you aren’t true anymore and can take a seat". Of feeling the fear of intimacy in my relationship and opening up anyway. Of realizing that I create my reality with my thoughts, and it can either be limiting or expansive: I choose to expand.
This past year has laid the foundation for me to really shake shit up and move out of my comfort zone in 2018. I now understand it had to start with my mindset and unlearning the limiting mindsets I've picked up along the way about myself.
What lessons have you extracted from 2017? What kind of energy are you intentionally bringing into this New Year?
Here's to facing discomfort and enjoying the process of growth,
Chelle
***SHAMELESS PLUG***
Join me for a 2 hour workshop to shed what’s holding us back and bring our intentions of growth into this new year! 20$ for group discussion, journaling, Yoga, and meditation. Hope to see you there!
Yoga Bliss on the Blvd, 140 Erie Blvd. in Schenectady